Neglected Youth: the Children of the Incarcerated

The number of children in the United States with at least one incarcerated parent has grown dramatically in recent years. According to a report by Urban Institute, Families Left Behind: The Hidden Costs of Incarceration and Reentry, more than half of adults locked up in state and federal prisons in this country are parents of minor children. As of 2007, the most recent year for which data is available, over 1.7 million children under the age of 18 had at last one parent in prison or jail. And a staggering 10 million children had at least one parent who is in some way under the supervision of the criminal justice system, according to the 2009 fact sheet from the group Children and Families of the Incarcerated.

The effects of sentencing so many parents to serve time are long-reaching and take years to be fully felt by the incarcerated person’s family and entire community. Children whose parents are unable to care for them are sometimes placed with other family members, but not all children are so lucky to be taken in by a loving grandparent, sibling, aunt or uncle. According to the same data from The National Resource Center on Children and Families of the Incarcerated, 15-20 percent of all children entering the child welfare system have a parent in jail or prison. Children whose families are unable to care for them become wards of the state, shifted around in the system, and often left unprepared to deal with adult life by the time they are forced out.

Photo credit: JoshuaDavisPhotography.COM

The impact of these arrests, then, is easily seen in the community. What is sometimes more difficult to recognize and understand are the effects of these stays of parents in correctional facilities on the children involved, which can be both short-term and long-lasting. When made to deal with a parent’s arrest and incarceration, many children experience a period of mourning for the loss of their parent, just as they would for a death. They may also experience a sense of shame that goes along with the social stigma of having a parent in jail or prison, as well as feelings of anger, abandonment, or even guilt. And in addition to all of these difficult and possibly conflicting emotions, having an incarcerated parent now can have an enormous impact on a child’s future success and well being. Children of incarcerated parents may have less ability later on to handle stressful or traumatic situations, poor performance in school and higher chances of abusing alcohol and drugs.

One of the least considered and yet most distressing consequences of parental incarceration is the enormous distance there sometimes is between parent and child. According to the Urban Institute’s report (cited above), women in prison are housed an average of 160 miles away from their children, while men in prison are an average of 100 miles away from their children. Such great distances between prisons and the homes where children stay make it even more difficult for kids to spend any time with their parents at all while incarcerated. The same report stated that more than half of incarcerated parents never once received a visit from their children while in jail or prison. The inability to even visit a parent while s/he serves a sentence only widens the gap between parent and child and makes it harder for both to reconnect and rebuild a healthy relationship after the parent is eventually released.

The detrimental effects of parental incarceration are widespread, touching their children, their families and their entire communities. The little we do know about the numerous consequences of keeping parents in jail or prison and away from their children shows us all how crucial it is to continue to research and better understand the issue, as well as the many things we as a society and a nation can do to improve our children’s lives and chances at success.

April Events – Artistic Activities and Happenings for Youth around NYC

Earth Day is April 22nd, and not just any Earth Day – 2010 marks the 40th anniversary of this inspiring holiday. In honor of this exciting day set aside to honor the planet and the natural world, here are some events around New York that you can easily take part in. Combine your love of arts and the hip trend of going green by participating in one (or all) of these sure-to-be-amazing experiences!

Photo credit: Paolo Brandão

1. On the evening of Earth Day, April 22nd, the Christopher Street Coffee House will host an evening of folk music and an open mic for a few brave new musicians. The show is from 7:00 – 9:00 PM, and is co-sponsored by Gardens of Forgiveness, a non-profit group that fosters peacemaking and forgiveness as strategies of personal healing across the globe. Check out the event’s posting on Earthday.org for additional information.
2. All throughout Earth Week, April 19th-24th, an exhibit called City of the Future will be taking place in the beautiful Vanderbilt Hall of Grand Central Station. This exhibit will have a variety of displays on everything green, from eco-friendly technology to sustainable fashion, and amazing art from a whole gamut of different artists (including Andy Warhol and Keith Haring) will adorn the space.
3. Another engaging event for artists and environmentalists of all ages will take place on April 22nd in Central Park. Earth Day Crafts, from 2:00 – 4:00 PM at the Chess & Checkers House (near 64th Street), is a completely free event that will teach children, parents and friends of how to create environmentally-friendly crafts inspired by the beauties of the surrounding green space.

No matter how you and your family choose to celebrate this Earth Day, do take some time to mark this important holiday. Earth Day is the perfect opportunity to remind children about the interconnectedness of all things, and to talk about how essential it is for human beings to work and exist in harmony natural world, and not in conflict with it. Use these amazingly artistic and local Earth Day events to engage the young people in your family in this crucial topic of conversation. And most importantly of all, don’t forget to have fun doing it!

Juvenile Justice Reform – why the New York City system is making headlines:

The juvenile justice system of New York has been in the news a lot lately, and not for good reasons. Disturbing allegations have been thrown around by those within and outside the government, some of the worst concerning the abuse of the youths the State system has charge of rehabilitating. Rehabilitation has always been the official goal of this government agency since its creation about 200 years ago, but those in charge seem to have lately lost sight of that goal, or perhaps have forgotten what exactly it means. The State of New York seems to have put punishment of crime ahead of treatment of the root causes of crime amongst youth, no matter how young the perpetrator, and consequently lessens the real chances of rehabilitating young people and allowing them to at some point become productive members of society.
A recent article in TIME magazine detailed some of the most abhorrent accusations, along with numerous other problems. The authors went so far as quote a professor and expert on the subject, who stated that juvenile justice facilities have become “dumping grounds for society’s ‘throwaway kids’.” You can read the article in its entirety here: http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1924255,00.html.
Aside from the largely publicized abuse scandals, there are many more problems with the current system that were revealed in a recent federal report on four of New York’s juvenile justice facilities. The top concerns of officials right now are:
1. Lack of professionalism. Complaints of excessive force, withholding of basic services, and other inappropriate behavior are numerous.
2. Lack of agreement amongst pro-reform officials and advocates.
3. An inability to treat the root causes of bad behavior and crime committed by young people. Instead, the system focuses on treating the symptoms, on punishing children for bad actions while ignoring the life circumstances, physical and mental illnesses, and lack of opportunity that pushes them into crime.
“Why does this matter?” you might ask. “How does this topic affect me, my children, my family?” More than 1,600 youth enter the New York State system every year, according to the most recent data from the Vera Institute of Justice and the State of New York. And even if you or your child are not one of those 1,600 youth, it is still likely that you know someone from your neighborhood, your child’s school or other community institutions who has been affected by this system and its misuse of funds and power. The children stuck in this system today will be adults very soon, and it is only a matter of time before the mismanagement of their time in the system starts to affect us all as a city and as a community.
A task force, appointed by Governor David Patterson of New York, was given the overwhelming duty of analyzing the issues in the juvenile justice system, and their report was released in December of 2009. But these problems need to be taken seriously, and addressed immediately, if any real strides are going to be made toward improving the juvenile system and finding new and better ways to nurture and motivate our children and young people. For more useful information and links, see this piece published online by the Burns Institute last month: http://www.burnsinstitute.org/article.php?id=166.

Important Facts About Eating Disorders

Diagnosing an eating disorder can be one of the most challenging issues a parent faces.  According to empoweredparents.com, children who have eating disorders often will be of normal weight, and often appear to be in perfect health.  Eating disorders are not caused by bad parenting, but feelings of guilt still occur, and can make it even more challenging to address an eating disorder within the family.  Patients with eating disorders are characterized as being preoccupied with weight and having a deep seated fear of becoming fat.  However, erratic or inadequate eating habits are more likely the result of excesses, lack of regulation and a lack of control in other areas of life.

Both girls and boys can have eating disorders, but it is a more common condition among females.  One out of four preteens with anorexia is a boy.  The three most common types of eating disorder are anorexia, bulimia and over binge eating disorder.  All of these disorders manifest in different ways. Anorexics will often have an intense fear of being fat and have a distorted view of their body, including denial that they are underweight and a desire to continue to lose weight.  Bulimics will often binge eat to the point of discomfort and have feelings of guilt after eating.  Additionally, purging often occurs in the form of self induced vomiting, excessive fasting or exercising and the abuse of diet pills or laxatives.  Binge eating disorder is similar to bulimia, except that it usually lacks the purging phase. Binge eating is the most common of the three, and it is estimated that 40 percent of obese people suffer from binge eating.

Eating disorders are not usually directly about food.  Anorexia, as well as bulimia and compulsive overeating are diseases that have chemical, genetic, emotional, behavioral and social implications for the afflicted individual as well as for the family.  The warped relationship with food often develops as a means of exerting control.  Where a patient with an eating disorder may feel that they have no control over anything, they have the illusion that they are in control of their appetite and their appearance.

Helping a child with an eating disorder can be a long process, but it is necessary to address eating disorders because they can be seriously damaging to one’s health, even fatal.  A hands-off approach may seem to be effective, but “let the problem work itself out” isn’t the right action to take with an eating disorder.  However, parents need to resist the urge to instill positive thoughts about body image, as any reinforcement directed towards body image may only heighten the child’s sensitivity.  Instead, parents need to be calm and caring, and show that they care about the child’s issue.  Many children who suffer from eating disorders feel an intense loss of control or that their life doesn’t matter. Initial denial is common, so several attempts may need to be made in order to connect with the child.  One of the most effective ways to deal with an eating disorder is to redirect a child’s focus.  Any positive output, be it horseback riding, drawing or singing, will help to take a child’s mind off of their body image.  The M D Davis Foundation offers a workshop on creativity that can help children to alter their focus away from their own self image.  The workshop features small groups that help to nurture creativity.  A child who recognizes that their own creativity is a gift can put that creativity into positive use.

Prevention of an eating disorder is much the same as treating an eating disorder, and the two may go hand in hand.  Once again it is important not to place any stress on appearance, instead focus on inner qualities of your child, or things that they excel at.  Also, make sure that you are being a good role model.  Try not to stress good food or bad food, and don’t make negative comments about yourself in front of children, as these actions will further stress an importance on appearance and weight.

For more information, including further links to diagnosing, preventing and treating an eating disorder, please visit the following links:

http://www.med.umich.edu/yourchild/topics/eatdis.htm

How to help your children and teens achieve their dreams…

Every child dreams of doing something, but not every child is given the tools to realize those dreams. Sometimes the most difficult thing for kids and teens today is finding the drive and motivation to work toward their goals.

Though you may think your child or teen won’t listen to you – he’s too cool to listen to his mom anymore, or she doesn’t care for any bit of news that isn’t confirmed in People or US Weekly – your words and actions as a parent, as an older sibling, as a mentor, do have power. Even if you feel disconnected from the children or teenagers in your life, any effort to encourage them will not go unnoticed.

The 3 best things you can do now to encourage and inspire the young people around you:

1. Be a role model. It may sound strange, but one of the best things you can do is to pursue your own dreams. No matter what you say, the kids who look up to you will pay far more attention to your actions than your words. Setting a good example is key to becoming a positive influence on your child or teenager, and taking care of yourself first is not a selfish act. Allowing yourself to be happy and pursue your own goals shows your children that this is an appropriate life path to follow, and will enable them to see the quest to follow their own dreams as a natural, healthy and obtainable one. For further information on this topic, see this article at athealth.com about effective parenting, various parenting styles, and advice on being a good role model to your child.

2. Be practical, not pessimistic. Many children dream of working in the arts and entertainment as actors, artists or musicians, but let those dreams go as they grow older, fearing they are too difficult to achieve as they become better acquainted with the world. Don’t let your children lose faith in themselves, or bring them down with negativity. It is difficult to achieve such dreams, but not impossible. The best thing you can do is to work with your children through their difficulties, acknowledging setbacks, but still gently pushing them forward. For more information and guidance on the effects of parenting styles on children later in life, see this article on Helium.com by Krystle Hernandez.

3. Let your child follow their dreams, not yours. It is all too easy to superimpose your own dreams of success, fame or fortune onto your children, but do not fall into that trap. Children and teens are individuals who have aspirations very separate from your own, and pushing your own wishes onto them will often lead to obstinacy or apathy. Allow your children the freedom to choose what to dream about, and you will give them the freedom to achieve things you never even imagined for them. For help and guidance with this number, see our own PSA video all about kids following their own dreams: http://youtube.com/mddavisfoundorg.

For even more helpful information and ideas about how to inspire the youth in your life, check out this great article from eHow.com, “How to Inspire a Teen.”

The Truth about Teens and Celebrities

Regardless of generational standards, parents will always find the likes of dislikes of their teens to be a little strange.  Times change, and unfortunately adults have a much harder time changing with them.  Celebrities have one of the biggest influences on the changes teens go through, and the question becomes not if teens are influenced by celebrities, but if the influence is positive or negative.

According to an article titled Teen Icons, published in a Southern Methodist University online magazine, “adolescence is the stage when children are beginning and establishing beliefs of their own, and they are more focused on inclusion in groups and on forming peer relationships.”  Because of this, teens seek to emulate celebrities.  Celebrities, by definition, are popular, but the reason for their popularity differs from celebrity to celebrity.  Unfortunately, negative behavior can often generate more popularity than positive behavior. Stories of stars donating time and money to a good cause seem dwarfed by reports of over-partying, negligence and abuse, and as teens see the attention that is garnered from these acts, they seek to imitate them.

In a poll published by the United Kingdoms’ Telegraph, almost half of the 2,700 teens polled stated that they did not feel a connection with their community.  The lack of connection between teens and positive role models is what ultimately leads them to imitate the bad behavior of celebrities.  In many cases teens are not directly seeking to imitate a celebrity’s bad behavior, they are merely trying to imitate behavior that gets attention.

Celebrity behavior isn’t the only thing that teens are trying to imitate.  According to BBC News, two thirds of girls in a 2000 participant quiz were said to have felt pressure from celebrities about their bodies. Only 8 percent of those surveyed were happy with their bodies, and a quarter of them said they suffered from an eating disorder. The pressure can come not just from celebrities themselves, but also from friends and boyfriends who increasingly want their partners to resemble famous bodies, bodies which are often altered through surgery or computer enhancement. Plastic surgery is dangerous at any age, and can leave lasting effects such as scarring as well as dissatisfaction with the results.

In order to combat this imitation, teens need to be instilled with a strong sense of self, and the knowledge that the attention that celebrities receive is not the most important type of attention.  The M D Davis foundation runs a program called the 12 Principles, in which twelve key areas of development are highlighted by professionals and guest speakers.  Some of the focuses of the 12 Principles are vision and goals, self awareness, dignity, integrity and leadership and identity.  These lessons can help a teen identify the difference between good and bad attention, as well as giving them the ability to choose positive role models not because of the amount of fame they have, but because of the positive work that they have done.  Teens who recognize the importance of self esteem are also less likely to feel the need to imitate a celebrities looks, giving teens the ability to be happy with themselves.

If you would like to read more about the relationship between celebrities and teens, please check out the following articles:

Teen Icons

Teens and Body Image

Teens and Self Esteem: What You Can do to Keep Your Teen on Track In the New Year

“It’s lack of faith that makes people afraid of meeting challenges, and I believed in myself.”- Muhammed Ali

As a teenager it is hard to believe in yourself.  My teenage years were turbulent.  The hormones, peer pressure, academic pressure . . . knowing which decisions were the right ones when faced with topics such as alcohol, drugs, and sex were never easy or clear cut.  And then there was how I saw myself every time I looked in the mirror.  Was I too thin? Was I too fat?  Were my clothes cool enough?  Getting good grades made me a “nerd” among some of my peers, while doing poorly in academics made me inferior among my other peers.  I ran track too.  I put a lot of pressure on myself to place first in all of the races I ran, although I never did.

As an adult, the concept of self-doubt over wearing the wrong shoes to school, or concern that a friend thought I wasn’t cool enough seems alien to me in the face of working and paying my bills each month.  But at the time self esteem and finding pride in myself as a teenager were difficult to come by on my own.  It was the positive motivation of coaches, teachers, parents, and grandparents that got me through those years and led me to believe in myself and navigate my way into adulthood and a life of making positive decisions.

I still have some hand written letters that my grandparents wrote me after a good report card, and to this day their encouragement stuck with me.  The notion that I can achieve personal satisfaction from hard work arrived the same day as their letters.  I also remember the day I ran a great race and I gave the best runner in my event in the entire county a run for her money.  I came in second place, and I was so determined to beat her.  I walked away defeated and disappointed, and my father said to me, “You had achieved your best time on the track in your event today, a personal best is a win.”  That day I learned that improving, and striving can be just as good as taking first place, and his words gave me the courage to keep going.

There were the “ugly” days too, where I was at odds with my body, my friends and what seemed like the world around me.  It was on those days that a card or a note on a napkin from my mom appeared in my school bag.  They made me remember that no matter what was going on in the rest of my adolescent world, and who I thought hated me – that I was loved.

There are many others in my life that did the same things for me, the stories aren’t as important as the fact that they were there.  Developing good self esteem helped me through those years, thanks to the adults in my life.  As a parent or role model you play a crucial role in your teen’s sense of self, and who they will become. Positive reinforcement and feedback can help your teen to develop and achieve goals, and set the stage for success in life.

Not sure where to start?  Some helpful tips from a recent article on parenting and building self esteem in teens, include:

• Celebrating accomplishments. It’s taking part, not winning, that counts. Praise your child for performing in a school play or writing an article in the school newspaper.
• Spending time together. Hikes, bike rides or even watching TV together can strengthen the bond between you and your teen.
• Using small gestures. Send an encouraging note, card or e-mail to your child.

Livestrong also has some great tips about building self esteem in teens too, including:

• Build self esteem early because it is an important factor for individuals to build successful personal and professional lives
• Helping teens develop a health self image is important to helping him or her become a healthy adult.
• Staying involved with a teen and trying to understand their special talents let them know that what they have to thing and say is valuable.
• Having positive self esteem as an adult role model is a great way to demonstrate self confidence to a teen.

There are many ways to encourage teens, and support them during their teenage years. At the M.D. Davis Foundation, one of our goals is to support teens and build their positive self esteem through the development of life skills.  We have created a variety of workshops designed to encourage teen esteem building and growth, and to support the goals of parents, teachers, community leaders, and others to aid in the crucial development of teen esteem and self confidence.  For more information visit us online.

“To succeed…You need to find something to hold on to, something to motivate you, something to inspire you.” – Tony Dorsett

Get Your Teens and Tweens A Job To Keep Them Busy & Out of Trouble This Holiday Season

The holidays are pretty much here and that means school is going to be out for a few weeks.  Parents will still be at their jobs, day in and day out, in order to keep the electricity and heat on, which means their teenagers will be home with nothing to do, aside for their winter break homework assignments.  For some teens, this could spell d-i-s-a-s-t-e-r.

I often think about my teenage years and how busy I was.  I was actively involved in all of the art programs – chorus, band, drama, made time for cheerleading and somehow squeezed in practices for the swimming team, all while maintaining a part time job and grades that kept me on the honor roll.  When I finally made it home, I wanted a home-cooked meal, and time to myself – time to write my short stories, to play my flute or simply drool over the hot guy on my favorite television show – which I believe at the time was Angel from Buffy the Vampire Slayer.  There was no time (or energy for that matter) left for me to get into mischief. 

 So now that I am sort of a “grown-up”, a part of me wants to grab a teenager by the ear and tell them to “Get a Job!” whenever I see them about to do something completely reckless and/or idiotic.  I firmly believe if a teen has less idle time on their hands, the less trouble they would get into.  If they were busy, they would not have the energy to see what it would be like to do donuts on an icy parking lot, in your car.

The Importance of Teen Mentoring: Empowerment to Succeed

Everyone has a story about the teacher, boss, or mentor that made a difference in their lives.  Teens look to adults and role models for valuable career advice and guidance as they progress down the path to adulthood. Mentoring is great way to fill this need, especially for at-risk teens.  The life and career skills a teen gains from effective mentoring can pave the way for future career empowerment, and a brighter tomorrow. Through mentoring programs, adult volunteers and participating youth connect to develop relationships devoted to personal, and professional growth.  Programs of this type are typically community-based, and focused on career hobbies.

Programs like Big Brothers and Big Sisters are great examples of life skill mentoring programs, and have proven to be a successful delinquency prevention strategy. The popularity of teen mentoring programs is currently on the rise, according to a study by MENTOR, a non-profit dedicated to promoting youth mentoring and the Corporation for National Community Service (CNCS), approximately 3 million adult volunteers are involved in formal, one-on-one mentoring relationships with young people, an increase of 19% (500,000 mentors) since 2002. First Lady Michelle Obama is also helping to put mentorship in the limelight.  She  recently flew to Colorado to discuss a White House leadership and mentoring initiative for young girls, and the White House has announced that a program for young men is soon to follow.  You can read the article here.

The Benefits of Arts Education and Therapies: What the Arts Can Do for Your Child and Your Family

The benefits of artistic education and involvement on youth have been proved time and again. After years of focus on science, math and other core subjects in the nation’s public schools, the tide is changing once again. According to “Critical Evidence: How the Arts Benefit Student Achievement,” a publication by the National Assembly of State Arts Agencies (NASAA) and the Arts Education Partnership (AEP), participation in the arts gives kids and teens so many advantages that 43 of the 50 states require schools and districts to provide instruction in the arts. Additionally, schools that emphasize the arts as part of their core curriculum have documented positive changes in both students’ academic performance, as well as the overall school environment.

Professionals have used art as a therapy for decades as a way to encourage troubled kids to open up, express themselves in a healthy manner, and find a positive path toward healing. Children and young adults who suffer from mental and physical illnesses can find arts therapies therapeutic, as can those who suffered from trauma or other difficult life events. Focusing one’s energy on creating something beautiful and meaningful, rather than focusing on what went wrong, is an incredible way to transform negativity into positivity.